I don’t know how He does it.
Today was rough. i got a lot of things done today but i was having a lot fo problems with being in isolation as well as with hving no one to serve here directy other than by working on the household finances and bankruptcy. He knew exactly what i needed, how to hold me and take me. How to talk to me and bring me back into a place where i’m His slave-wife. i feel again that by being here i am stil in service that even though i am not at home and doing things there, i am still doing His bidding.
i love Him so terribly much it hurts when i think about it, in a very nice way.
Catching up
Today so far has been a day for me to be annoyed at various things/people. I’m worried/annoyed about election night and I’ve had to deal with student nurses who either admitted that they don’t like people or who are so timid that they can’t do their jobs well. Add on top of this the various griping from other people around me and I’m ready to scream.
I’ve accomplished a few things today that I am at least happy to post
- I’ve paid the bills
- I’ve done some work on my Nano story
- I had an ultrasound
- I’ve not killed Skyrose
- fought off a panic attack brought on by Skyrose
A day that began with a smile
At last, finally a day I did not spend mostly depressed. Granted, my BP was very high this morning and I failed my glucose tolerance test. I had to drink this disgusting mix of glucose and weird flavorings so they could measure how my pancreas was handling it. It wasn’t -too- high off of the spectrum but enough that they want to retest tomorrow.
As far as accomplishments, I;m feeling pretty good.
- Found a new website to amuse myself with
- checked the bank balance
- wrangled skyrose
- done some research on neurotransmitters
- survived my glucose test
I know this is pretty short and that it’s not very much to have accomplished, but I feel good.
Today has been the hardest
So far, today has been the hardest day I have faced here. Depression is really setting in and I really am longing for home. Knowing that Master is at home working His behind off to get it somewhat ready for me and baby does not reallymake me feel any better. I wish i was there to help.
I have asked my Dr’s to consider me for out paitent stuff instead of keeping me here all the while. They have agreed to talk it over, thankfully but the pending decision has me on edge and restless. I’m trying to keep busy but I find I am having a hard time focusing on any of the projects I want to accomplish here. More so, I’s just plain sad.
Talking to Master on the phone some has helped me cheer up enough to at least sit up in bed adn contemplate lunch. I havent been able to do muchh more than lay there and watch NCIS most of the day.
Lets try this again.
I know that I’ve not kept up with posting at all. I am going to write a series of update posts (Or maybe just one I’m not sure yet) and then begin again on trying to write every day. I have another jounnal that gets a bit more in the way of readers but it is definitely not a BDSM only-focused journal as I intended this one to be.
The Update:
Since I last wrote I have become pregnant. I am currently in a loval hospital with Pre-eclampsia and Kidney disease on top of it. So, for the next 9 or so weeks I will remain here until I deliver Master’s baby boy, Alexei Viktor. During this time there have been the various ups and downs that come with a TPE relationship but we’ve gotten through them all rather nicely. On July 5th 2009, we married. It was a very small ceremony held in a local park with only the wedding party and one guest.
Master was in and out of work the entire time, and things were stressful an awful lot. Although now He is in a position as a customer service agent for one of the coporate offices of a local grocery store. I’m rather amazed at the 12.00 an hr pay with the economy we face. I figure that they needed to do something to retain folks and this was definitely a good call. In these shaky times people need money. So, while I’ve been languishing in the hospital, praying for the safe delivery of our son, He has been working and visiting me. It is my hope soon that we will be able to afford a car so that He does not have to take the bus almost 2 hours each way to get home and there.
What do I envision for this blog? Well, since I am holed up here and have a few things I can still do to serve my Master (Mainly by taking care of the household paperwork and bills) I would like it ot be a track record of those things. I also hope to begin writing some more and perhaps posting the results here. Both fiction and non fiction. I do very much want to be able to be a presenter one day at various lifestyle events and share my experiances as a 24/7 Domestic servant.
A weird day
I had a very hard time maintaining anything close to a semblance of proper attitude this afternoon when Master woke to take me to the college. I first just put it up to having a bad client, not getting as many calls today as I am used to and general hormone ickiness since I (not so brightly) decided to not allow myself a period this month by way of changing how I took my birth control. My attitude resulted in a pretty nasty spanking and being put to bed, Master deciding wisely that I needed a nap to get myself settled again.
When I woke up I felt much better all in all. I got myself together for the evening putting Master’s dinner together and planning out some meals for the rest of the week. When Master woke, I was in better form. in my evening uniform and on my knees when He entered the room etc. W/we went up the road to get my prescription that the doctor should had called in, only to find that she hadn’t and then it dawned on me, “I’m having withdrawals” I asked the pharmacist if there was anything I could do, and she got m and emergency supply, which thank Goddess should get me through without much trouble. I need to make certain that I call th Dr. Tomorrow.
After Master left for work, I did a few chores and now am just resting a bit. I will continue the laundry and clean His room for the night and probably be in bed early.
I just saw the most beautiful thing
October 28, 2008 at 7:05 pm (Commentary, Hospital Stay, life)
I know i just posted a very down update, reflecting how I am feeling here in the hosptial. I must say that will have to revise that. As I was sitting here in my bed looking out the window trying to get p the energy to do..well anything I was watching the clouds above the cathedral of learning and noticed a rainbow appear…It was perfectly arched and every last one of its bands formed and clear to the eye. Then, as if trying to tell me “It’s not that bad..” the grey murkey clouds parted and bright clear sunshine filtered through. *smiles softly* Maybe today won’t continue to be so bad
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